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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Letter from a Soccer Mom

Dearest AYSO,

I grew up loving you but things are starting to change.  Felt and glitter glue, I hate you, too.  And picture day?  Don't even get me started.

My daughter has ZERO interest in the sport your organization represents.  But I forced her to play anyway.  By promising her she could play goalie.  So thank you very much for eliminating that position in her division this year.  Spectacular.

Also, I'm a bit concerned about these new 6 person teams.  "Everybody plays?"  Might be time to change that motto.  "Everybody has ample time to pick grass on the sidelines..."

or "Everybody touches the felt stars and glitter glue on the banner that team mom worked DAYS on."  Those are just a few suggestions.

Now, let's talk picture day.  I know it's not your fault that traffic was ridiculous due to a freeway closure for an accident investigation but does it really have to be a 4 hour ordeal?  Must we take 5 pictures of each child?  And can you NOT have snow cones  for sale if you want us to keep our uniforms clean?

I will say that your coaches are just as wonderful and supportive as I remember.

And I love that the most popular half-time snacks are still orange slices and Capri Suns.  Way to keep it old school, AY.

Who am I kidding?  You'll always have my heart.  I'm just a little crabby from all the felt glue.


One who now carries a hammer and metal stakes in her {fake} Prada


  1. Hilarious! the soccer banner is gorgeous though and looks like it was inspired by the powerpuff girls

  2. Ohhh my goodness. I loved AYSO days! I am wondering though if perhaps my parents had the same feelings towards the day. I just remember eating a bunch of candy and running around all afternoon on picture day. Pretty sure that's a parents worse nightmare. Perhaps it hasn't changed all that much. Although those uniforms are much, much cuter.

  3. Wait, did I write this post? You forgot to include the part when my daughter complains that soccer makes her too sweaty!!! Duh. It's a sport. It's outside. It's hot. Work it out. She hates it. Picks grass. Cries. Wants to wear skirt over her uniform. Why am I doing this? Why am I wrecking the only day of the week we don't have to be someplace early? Sigh....

  4. [...] always considered myself somewhat crafty. I can whip up a fairly decent scrapbook. Put together a soccer banner. Bake here and there. Knit useless things in long, straight lines. But that’s about at far as [...]