Friday, March 1, 2013

Waiting Well.

I struggle to find words here.

And quite honestly, I want to avoid them.

But doing so would rob God of glory.

And I'd rather not do that.

So I share my little story.

And I will be honest.

I'm very nervous.

I feel unqualified.

Many women have struggled far longer, some forever.

I don't feel fit to share.

I'm not trying to make this my platform.

I'm not claiming to be an expert.

But I keep being brought back to God's glory.

And my thankfulness.

And joy.

In answered prayers.

In lessons learned.

Rewind to November of 2010.

We learned we'd be adding a third little one to this house of crazy.

Shortly thereafter, we lost that baby.

I was surprised and sad.

But convinced God would give us another baby.

Quickly.

Because all our other pregnancies had happened that way.

But that wasn't the case.

Months of waiting became years of waiting.

And this past fall, I had given up hope.

Convinced that God's plan for us was to be a family of four.

And I was learning to be content in that.

But, really I wasn't.

I wasn't waiting well.

I was impatient.

And bratty.

Self-absorbed.

Jealous of pregnant friends.

Ugly.

But even though I wasn't reflecting Jesus well,

I have never been closer to Him.

I've never prayed more.

Leaned more.

Relied more.

We had lots of chats, Jesus and I.

And this past Christmas, we learned of a great blessing.

In early September of this year, Lord-willing, we'll welcome a new little baby into our home.

ashy_prayerREV

I am thrilled.

Overjoyed.

Thankful.

So very thankful.

For this precious new life.

But also for what I have learned while waiting.

Lean on Him always.

Not just in the valleys.

Don't be a brat.

It's ugly.

Rejoice with your friends.

Even when it's hard.

And you'd rather poke their pregnant eyes out.

Be gracious to other women around you.

Not many knew of my struggle because I felt weak sharing.

And so many have more painful stories.

Be careful with your words, pregnant ladies.

Be careful with your complaints.

Many women would give anything to feel morning sickness.

Women that have struggled with miscarriage and infertility,

SHARE YOUR STORIES.

Please.

They are so powerful and give such hope.

See them as a gift.

Yes.

This new little baby is a HUGE gift.

But the waiting was more of one.

I pray Jesus never lets me forget that.

16 comments:

  1. So crazy proud of you! He is good all the time, no matter what...keep sharing your story! Love nugget #3 already & I love you! Always here, always carrying you & that precious family of yours!

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  2. Thanks for sharing, Jess. A beautiful testimony to our beautiful God!

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  3. oh, friend. i shout amen and rejoice with you!
    thank you for this truth today.

    xo

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  4. I love your heart. So rejoicing with you over the whole process!

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  5. God is always faithful and I believe all prayers are answered with "yes" "no" or "wait." Sometimes no is easier than wait, but either way, God's will be done. I'm thrilled for you and your family!

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  6. there goes God again...in that one thing he is doing a million. :)

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  7. jess. so proud of you. thanks for sharing and for involving us. i love you so much.

    p.s. can i have your jeans?

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  8. Sweet friend, I know the story well. And you are exactly right--it is sweeter because of the waiting. Praying for all of you as you continue to wait, and to hope, and to revel in the perfect but eternal timing of our Father. XOXO

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  9. So thankful that God chose to answer your prayer and bless you with this baby :)

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  10. To God be the glory great things he has done.
    You are brave and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart.

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  11. God is good...ALL the time. Congratulations! and I'll be praying for you Jessica.

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  12. That picture is AMAZING. God is good!

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  13. Thank you for sharing, Jessica. We've been waiting for a long time and it's true you feel closer to God (most of the time) in the waiting, hard as it is. I can't imagine the heartbreak you had three years ago, but I rejoice with you over this new little coming your way. Praying for you all!

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  14. First, CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!!

    As you know we lost our third, too. He would have been 12 this month. I'll always miss him. I'll always long for home (heaven) more because he is there with my God.

    I like Kim's comment, "There goes God again.. in that one thing He is doing a million." So so true.

    When I think about the journey to Josie (whose name means "May God Add"), I see about a 1,000 of those million things He was doing. She is 11, and He is still revealing things. I am thrilled for you that you will get to see revealed things for years to come.

    I praise God for baby in your tummy, and for these 9 sacred months. I praise Him for that moment that your child is placed in your arms! For that moment when you'll feel so much joy because of the journey that your heart feels like it will explode with love, joy, and awe!

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  15. A friend of mine sent your post "waiting well" to me the other day for a bit of encouragement:) I have never read your blog before, but so grateful I did that day! I so badly needed to hear some encouraging words... Words that remind us The Lord is teaching us, loves us and wants us to "wait well!" Thank you for your honesty.... For reminding me to speak up and be bold about my story... And for keeping The Lord first!
    I had two miscarriages two years ago then was able to get pregnant with our wild loving and sweet spirited boy:) he will be 2 in June!! And again we face our battle of hoping to get pregnant again.... We have been on meds, doing IUI, and trying for 9 months... Which to some, like you said doesn't seem long, but to me sometimes feels like an eternity! Our prayer is to wait well :) and hear gods voice in this process!!! Thank you again for your honesty!

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